let me juz say this.... I AM STRAIGHT!!! so all you gay buggers out there, please stay far far away from me!!! i was totally pissed off today... this morning, on my way to work, i met a gay bastard... i was at the toilet at woodlands mrt when i saw this chinese bugger at the sink... he was combing his hair and stuff and when he saw me, he starting smiling.... and i mean THE "WEIRD" SMILE! but i didn't think of it much then.... so i went over to the sink adjacent to him... and from the mirror in front of me, i could see that he was looking at me in a funny way.... again, i tried to ignore him.... this is the freaky part.... then i went to the urinal to do my business... and guess what? he came next to me and started making disgusting noises.... and i could feel that he was staring at me... hopefully he was staring at me and not something else.... and when i turned to look at him, he started licking his lips and hinted me to enter the cubicle with him.... i was so freaked out! and totally pissed! i juz gave him that pissed off look.... but he kept staring at me... when i turned over again, he was still gesturing me to enter the cubicle with him.... at this point, i was really mad.... i'm still pissed at myself for not punching him in the face then..... i then quickly finished my business and went out of the toilet.... oh ya, there were only the two of us in the toilet at that time.... i'm seriously very sick of all these gay buggers.... why muz they always disturb me.... i really don't know how many times i've been "disturbed" by their type.... i'm afraid i might turn anti gay.... i don't want that to happen but seriously, if i get disturbed by another gay again, i will really give him one hell of a whacking.... assholes!! i totally dislike their kind now..... to me, they are juz sickos.... i really really do not want to offend anyone, its juz the way i feel right now..... so yah.... ENOUGH ALREADY!! STOP DISTURBING ME!!


Riz lost himself at 11/28/2004 01:32:00 am

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i was really stressed out yesterday.... cause that guy will be away for reservist for the next 2 weeks so he was telling me the stuff that i am supposed to do during his absence and he was trying to explain to me the way bout doing it... i was totally lost at the end of his "speech"... i really felt like banging my head against the wall.... i mean, i'm not really sure bout some of the stuff that he is asking me to do.... and its so much work..... sigh, so much for my enthusiasm.... i went onsite again today at woodlands... it was surprisingly relaxing... i didn't have much to do.... i guess this is what they call the calm before the storm.... haha.... really damn scared bout next week..... call me a coward or whatever, i don't care.... its juz how i feel...

i have been thinking a lot bout this girl.... no, its not the girl i met on the bus... haha... i've had a teeny weeny crush on her for quite some time.... but for some reason or another, the feeling grew stronger recently.... nobody knows bout this... cause i didn't tell anyone bout it.... i guess this is the first time i've actually managed to keep my mouth shut regarding this type of stuff... haha.... ermm... so i tried to chat with her, trying my best to get to know her better.... but the response has been really frustratingly bad.... i mean, its not encouraging at all..... she always replies with these one liners.... its damn frustrating.... its very very obvious that she isn't interested in chatting with me.... maybe i'm juz being silly.... she's so out of my league.... i guess i'm juz human, always wanting something that you can never have.... why am i telling you all this? i dunno... i juz feel like writing it down... i'm weird.... ok, i'm going off now... have to wake up early tmr for OT... damn OTs....


Riz lost himself at 11/26/2004 11:16:00 pm

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i feel stupid today.... extremely stupid.... after work, i wanted to visit my grandma who's in hospital.... so off i went taking this one bus which my sp friend told me would bring me to the nearest mrt station.... i was in the bus for 30 mins looking like a lost fool when i saw parkway parade.... it was then that i realised that my stupidity had brought me somewhere else.... cool.... called my mum and was told to take this other bus which would bring me to the hospital.... thought that it was all over but no, i missed my stop.... in the end, i ended up taking a taxi.... haha.... i can't believe that i'm so stupid.... but it wasn't all that bad... when i was taking this bus from parkway parade, i saw this beautiful malay girl... man, she has such a stunning face.... definately the most beautiful malay girl i've ever seen... and its not like me to say such things bout malay girls.... those who know me well, will know what i mean.... haha... i was captivated and enchanted by her beauty..... oh man, oh man..... but i will probably never see her again... sigh.... haha.... if only i can see her face one more time.....

the sp guy who i was talking bout in my previous posts is no longer in the company i'm in..... it seems that he failed a module which he had retook and the poly decided to sack him.... gosh.... it seems as if my wish came true.... i feel kind of bad now.... i mean, i was cursing him like nobody's business in my previous posts and wishing that he was gone..... but i wasn't expecting him to leave under these circumstances..... and he's also like the only one i can talk to other than the technicians and engineers over there..... well, i wish him all the best even though i hate him.... no, i shouldn't say i hate him.... i juz dislike him.... now, that sounds better.... haha.....


Riz lost himself at 11/24/2004 10:19:00 pm

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what's up people! haha... i think i was complaining too much in my previous post.... and i feel really stupid bout it now... haha... well, i've accepted my fate and i'm juz gonna take anything that comes to me.... yea, that's the spirit! haha... i'm actually here for juz one purpose.... that is to expose AKIL!!!!! hahaha..... yea, that bloody bastard is attached now! its been around 2 weeks from what i heard..... and i juz got to know bout it yesterday.... what siah.... the bastard didn't even tell me bout it.... i told you man, i'm going to let everyone know bout this! and i wasn't kidding! woo hoo!! so so happy for you! rock on man! haha... that's bout it for today.... see ya real soon!


Riz lost himself at 11/22/2004 09:35:00 pm

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its been a damn tiring last 2 days... i juz started my attachment yesterday.... its a good company... its been on the entreprise 50 awards for the past 3 years.... cool... but.... guess what, i'm assigned to the projects department.... great, its juz what i needed... i'm being sarcastic here.... and i found out that i was assigned to this engineer who in turn was in charge of this kallang paya lebar expressway project..... and yesterday, they brought me to woodlands and tuas to assist them in the testing of the circuit panels that was being built for the expressway... it was only my first day for goodness sake! spent the whole day onsite trying to learn the testing methods cause i was told that the guy doing the testing was going for reservist training very soon and they want me to take over that guy while he's gone.... yeah... are you guys crazy or what!? you want me to learn in a week what he's been doing for a year.... great... juz great... and i'm working together with this SP guy.... he's such an asshole! he was like sleeping most of the time, and didn't seem interested in doing anything at all... gosh.... oh ya, he's a bloody ah beng.... he walks like one, he talks like one, he has a bloody tattoo, and he smokes.... wtf... luckily he's only staying for 3 more weeks.... or else i really won't know how i'm going to work with him.... i've been complaining a lot today.... sorry bout it.... can't help it, i'm juz feeling very grumpy.... oh ya, akil's worse off.... he's in the night shift.... so he'll be working from 7pm to 7am... but the good thing is that he'll be working for only 4 days a week and he'll also get $100 extra.... damn him! haha... i'm gonna stop now.... gotta recharge my energy for tmr.... sigh..... nitez....


Riz lost himself at 11/17/2004 10:37:00 pm

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ermm... let me see what i did today... went to northpoint in the afternoon to meet tiff for awhile to pass her the present that my sis and i got her.... then after passing her the pressie, i did a little shopping.... haha... yea, you got me right.... at first i was only thinking of getting a shirt for my first day of attachment so as to look more presentable, but in the end i bought 2 shirts and a pair of shoes.... damn! there goes my money.... and it wasn't like i gave it much thought before buying it which i always do..... this time i juz bought it.... since when did i become an impulsive buyer.... man, this is not good.... definately not good.... haha... after the little "shopping" trip of mine, i went home and slept till bout 6.30.... i juz felt damn tired today.... oh yah, before i forget, i want to wish happy deepavali to akil!! hope you enjoyed yourself today man... someone happy lah, got two nice girls going with you for your attachment.... jealous siah.... haha....

will be starting attachment next tues.... feeling pretty nervous.... don't know what to expect.... after the briefing yesterday, i felt pretty unsure of myself cause the bloody lecturer was like telling us bout all the stuff that went wrong the past few years.... and some of the stuff were juz plain scary.... haha.... gosh.... and to make it even worse, there are no girls in the same company as me.... akil, you heard that? haha... juz kidding lah.... well, i'm stopping here now.... take care peeps! till next time!


Riz lost himself at 11/12/2004 01:45:00 am

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today was pretty crazy.... met up with beng and akil at somerset.... we, being the blur sotongs that we are, thought that the bowling centre at cineleisure was still around.... so imagine our surprise when all that we saw was a lan gaming shop.... damn! felt so stupid! haha... then beng suggested that we go bowling at marina south.... so off we went to marina south.... it was very very quiet over there... what do you expect, it was only in the early afternoon.... went to one bowling centre, peeped in and saw nobody at all.... haha.... went back out and finally settled on superbowl.... at least there were a few poor souls there.... haha.... after bowling, we went to the arcade.... gosh, i don't know how long it has been since i've stepped into one.... but it sure brings back memories.... yea.... then after that we went to esplanade to juz walk bout and chill out.... pathetic huh? that's the life of 3 very very bored guys.... haha....

tmr, i will know the company that i will be posted to and its location... ermm... pretty excited bout it but yet at the same time, i'm feeling pretty nervous too.... i'm gonna miss my friends.... damn it.... gonna stop for now.... chill peeps!


Riz lost himself at 11/09/2004 11:12:00 pm

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finally went out with my friends today.... was really looking forward to today cause i've been rotting at home ever since the exams ended... i've been so bored at home! nothing much to do except for the "cleaning up of my room" part.... haha.... let's see, we went to catch a movie at ps.... caught "shark tale".... pardon the pun... its not too bad.... its not that good either.... but still, its so much better than rotting at home... after that we went for pool.... it was my lucky day today.... haha.... but, as usual, i couldn't beat expert.... damn! then at night after dinner, akil and myself went to chantel's place to pass the birthday present that we bought for her while the rest went home.... met chantel under her block, and there were cats all around... it was a funny sight as she is frightened of cats... haha.... you should have seen her face!

will be meeting up with akil and beng tmr for bowling... haha... can't help it lah.... we're juz damn bored at home... its been awhile since i touched a bowling ball, wonder if my "skill" is still there.... talking bout bowling, i juz realised that i still have a bowling challenge with tiff that has not been done yet.... come on tiff! i'm still waiting! you better not chicken out!! haha...

ana, if you're reading this, please take things easy.... i know its hard on you and stuff, but you've to try not to think bout it too much... especially now, when you're having your O levels.... concentrate on that first and push everything else aside.... block all your troubles away.... when your O levels are over, only then can you start thinking bout all those stuff and try to resolve them.... be strong.... have patience.... this is probably juz a test from god.... take care of yourself k? all the best for your exams.


Riz lost himself at 11/08/2004 11:08:00 pm

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Finally! its all over.... the exams are finally over! haha... today marks the last day of my poly exam life.... haha... no more exams!! yea!! well, at the same time, its quite sad too.... no more mugging for exams one or two weeks before it starts.... no more camping in the library the whole day with great classmates of mine.... no more joking around and having fun at the same time while studying.... no more "scouting" out for "potentials" in the library.... damn, i'm gonna miss the exams.... haha.... i guess there's juz no pleasing me.... haha.... well, i feel pretty confident bout my exams... the first two papers wasn't exactly a breeze, but i came out of the exam halls with a smile.... haha.... now, that sounds weird.... its been a while since i've felt this confident.... haha.... i guess all my hard work has paid off.... ermm, maybe i said that too soon.... well, we'll see.... haha.... the only glitch was my last paper today.... it was hard.... i'll say it again: damn it, it was hard! i was practically cursing and cursing at the paper after i finished it.... i was juz sitting down at my desk, staring at the paper and cursing it instead of leaving the hall early..... haha.... but i think i'll pass.... if juz barely....

i'm gonna miss my friends.... we are all going our separate ways now.... some will be doing their projects, some like me will be going for their attachments.... sigh.... i would like thank all those wonderful friends of mine for always being there for me.... for bearing with me when i was in, what my friends would call, my "pms" mood.... especially when it was during the exam weeks when it would get worse.... haha.... for being there for me when i was really really down..... juz a few mins with you guys would make me forget all my troubles.... and a special thanks to my very good friend, akil.... thank you so so much for everything.... i really don't know what i'll do without you man.... thanks.... oh yah, not forgetting david, you are one bloody irritating crappy friend and i'll never forget you! haha.... not forgetting all my other friends out there who have been reading my blog, those very few people who took pity on me and took the time to actually read bout my life.... haha.... also to my sis, nura.... thank you for being my sister.... ok, that's lame... haha.... thank you all!


Riz lost himself at 11/04/2004 10:49:00 pm

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